


You Make Me Feel

by shadowsamurai



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-19
Updated: 2012-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 03:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Epilogue for 1.16 'Too Tough To Die'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Make Me Feel

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

GG-CW-GG-CW-GG-CW

*"I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything."*

Her words cut him like a knife, but before he could reply, refute the claim as being completely absurd, she had gone. He sighed heavily. He knew so many people viewed him as a robot, an automaton devoid of any emotion, but his team? He thought they knew better. Obviously not, as Sara's actions had just shown him. Grissom stared at the wall opposite, trying not to let her parting phrase hurt him more than it already had done, but it was difficult. He knew he felt, felt too damn much at times. Felt hurt by her words, felt sad and upset by the death of Holly Gribbs, felt angry when Eddie had threatened Catherine...

Actually, that wasn't quite right and Grissom knew it. He hadn't just been 'angry'; he was furious with the man, the red haze of rage descending when he saw Eddie pin Catherine to the glass, and in front of so many people, no less. The man had no shred of decency, no idea how to treat a woman properly. Even now, thinking about it, he could feel his fists starting to ball, anger bubbling to the surface again. And then when Eddie had said he always knew Grissom and Catherine had a thing... The funny thing was, Grissom never tried to correct him or deny the accusation; he just ignored it because he knew trying to explain it to someone like Eddie would be like trying to get blood from a stone, although in their job, that was more than a little possible. Because Grissom and Catherine *did* have a thing, just not in the way Eddie thought. Their relationship was undefinable by many; they were more than just best friends, more than family...in some ways, they were closer than lovers. They were soul mates, in the truest sense, capable of great conversations without ever speaking a word, capable of communicating without ever uttering a sound, and that, to Grissom, proved more than anything else in the world that he was indeed capable of feeling. There was no way he could have been friends with Catherine for so long otherwise.

The hurt over Sara's words melted away as Grissom began to contemplate his long friendship with the blonde, and every so often he would either smile or frown over a memory than ran through his mind. He had always been fiercely protective of her, like a brother to a sister, especially where Eddie was concerned. He had never agreed with Catherine's decision to marry the man, but like a true friend, he supported her whenever he could. Just like earlier that day. Standing, Grissom left the room, ambling down the corridor, hoping he wouldn't run into Sara. While he knew he wouldn't hold a lasting grudge against her for her comment, he didn't think either of them needed to see each other again that day.

"Hey, Nick, have you seen Catherine?" Grissom asked the Texan, who was lounging in the break room.

Nick looked up. "Er, yeah, about a half hour ago."

"Was she heading home?" Grissom wasn't sure what made him ask that question, but it seemed important.

If Nick thought it was odd, he didn't let on. "I guess so. She never said."

"Thanks, Nick." Grissom turned and left.

"Hey, Griss, wait up!" the Texan called after him thirty seconds later. "I think she was heading to her sister's to pick Lindsey up."

Grissom closed his eyes briefly. That was right; Lindsey had been in the building when Eddie assaulted Catherine. Luckily she hadn't seen anything, having been taken away by Warrick, who kept her occupied until Catherine had finished with her husband...or soon-to-be – but not soon enough for Catherine, Grissom, or anyone else who cared about the blonde – ex-husband.

"Okay, Nick, thanks."

The drive to Catherine's house was something Grissom could have done with his eyes closed, though it seemed to take longer than normal. Perhaps because he was worried about her, perhaps because he wanted to talk but didn't at the same time. Perhaps it was because Sara's words were still echoing in his head, causing him to start doubting himself, his own humanity, and he needed something he didn't need very often: reassurance. And there were only two people in the world he trusted to give that to him, but only one he wanted to see at that moment.

There was no answer when Grissom knocked on Catherine's front door, even though her car was outside in the drive, and after a few moments, his protective instincts kicked in and he let himself in using the spare key. The house was quiet, like a graveyard, and he padded through the rooms silently, his ears alert for any noise at all. Then he saw her, stood outside on the patio staring up at the sky, and for a moment, Grissom smiled. He had lost count of the amount of nights they had spent staring at the stars over the years and there was always a sense of comfort, and a vague feeling of homecoming, with the two of them sat side-by-side not saying anything, not even thinking anything.

"If you're not Gil Grissom, I suggest leaving before I kick your ass," Catherine said without turning around when she heard the door to the patio open.

Despite himself, Grissom grinned. "And if I am Gil Grissom?"

"Then you'd better get that ass over here right now," she ordered him, the command spoiled by the amusement in her voice.

"It isn't quite the same during the day, is it?" Grissom asked, looking up at the bright blue sky.

"No, it isn't, but I've got a good imagination."

As always with Catherine, her words were a double-edged sword; everything had two meanings, especially with Grissom, and this time, he decided to play along. "Really? I'd have to run a few tests to determine the validity of that statement," he replied.

"I've got some spare time now. Just let me take all my clothes off first."

"Catherine!" Grissom protested, blushing furiously.

She laughed and laid a hand fondly on his arm. "Breathe, Griss, don't go passing out on me now."

When he had recovered, Grissom said, "Well, it's a bit public for stripping, but I'm game if you are."

Catherine could do nothing but stare at him for a moment before squeezing his arm and laughing louder than before. "Thank you," she said as she wiped the tears from her face.

"What for?" Grissom asked, genuinely confused.

Catherine tugged his arm and they sat down on the step. "For being here, for being around. For...earlier..."

"Catherine, I have no doubts whatsoever that you're more than capable of taking care of yourself," he told her firmly, knowing exactly what was going through her head. "But...well...I..."

"You're very protective of those you care about. I know. Hell, I *should* know well enough by now," she replied with a smile. "I just hate feeling weak."

"You're not weak. You're the strongest person I have ever met," Grissom said sincerely.

She smiled again. "Thank you."

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the sun warming their skin. Night shift might have been the most interesting, but one could only work in the dark for so long before starting to feel like a vampire or other creature of the night. But Catherine could tell that something was bothering Grissom and it wasn't just the earlier altercation with Eddie.

"Okay, Bug Man, give."

"Huh?"

"You've got a bee in your bonnet..."

"I certainly hope not."

"...About something. So, what is it?"

"Do you know what I admire most about you, Catherine?" Grissom said dryly. "Your diplomacy."

"When it comes to you, Griss, subtlety and diplomacy are about as much use as a chocolate fire guard," Catherine replied. "If you don't want to talk, that's fine, but don't pretend you're okay when you're not."

"I'm not," he said.

"Not okay or not pretending?"

"Both."

"Okay."

Grissom sighed. "Sara...she got too close to the rape victim, even though I warned her about it. She couldn't separate her head from her heart and when she came to me at the end of the shift..."

"She was upset," Catherine stated in an understanding tone.

"Yes. But..."

"What did she say to you?" Catherine asked. Grissom turned to her in surprise. "You act a certain way when someone has said something to upset you, rather than you being upset by something that's happened."

"She said she wished she was more like me," Grissom replied.

"That ain't so bad..."

"She wished she didn't feel anything."

"Oh. Wait, she thinks you don't feel?"

Grissom nodded. "She does."

Catherine rolled her eyes and pushed her hair back from her face. "I swear that for an intelligent woman, that girl ain't got no brains."

"Cath, please don't mangle the language," Grissom said, giving her a pained look.

"Sorry. But seriously, how can she think that? She knows how you handled – or didn't handle – Holly Gribbs' death, how you handled Warrick and his gambling addiction..."

"How I didn't handle Eddie threatening you," Grissom said. "But it isn't just Sara. I listen to the lab rumours as well, even though I don't participate in relaying them to anyone."

"Gil, listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once," Catherine told him in a firm tone. "You might not be the most demonstrative person on the planet, but if you didn't care, you wouldn't be doing this job. We all do what we do *because* we care, because we want to give answers to those who have lost people. Sure, it doesn't always work out that way; we are, after all, dealing with a broken system that quite often rewards the perpetrator and punishes the victim, but we're always striving to better that system." She stared off into the distance. "If you didn't feel anything, you wouldn't spend time on those damned roller coasters. You wouldn't throw things across your office in a fit of temper, or sit and cry when you think no one's looking. And don't deny it; I've seen you. I know you feel, Gil, I've seen every display of emotion you possess."

After a lengthy pause, Grissom spoke up. "It's all because of you."

"What is?"

"You...make me feel. You always have," he explained. "When I'm with you, around you...you understand me like no one ever has, and you accept me with all my flaws. I think that, when you're around, it's okay to feel things, to show emotions. So...thank you."

Catherine snaked an arm around his shoulders and leant her head against him. "I think we were made for each other," she said.

"Soul mates."

Though she was surprised by his words, she didn't show it. "I'll drink to that."

"Breakfast?" he asked. "My shout."

"Our usual place?" Catherine replied.

"Of course."

She grinned at him. "I'll race you."

FIN


End file.
